oh man. this is unacceptable. i haven't blogged since september. i better get on that. i guess i've been busy with work and life and stuff that i don't sit at the computer like i used to. well, basically, i do have a question. even though i know all 3 of you who read my blog have given up on me updating, maybe there is one of you who still looks at this. but it's nothing major, just i don't know what to do with my hair lol. it's getting long and the color is growing out. i'm thinking of keeping the red. i just don't know how short to cut it. i always get layers and cut it to about my shoulder. one of my coworkers thought i should get it chin length and have it where it's a little longer in the front. yeah i don't know if i ever want to get that short ever again. that's the haircut i got when i was a kid, you know, back when i was cute. but now i don't know what to do. any suggestions?

but other stuff, work is still work. i'm still being abused. what can i say? this is the life i lead. and now we're not allowed to stay at work more than 30 minutes past our punch-out time without writing a little report explaining why we stayed late. i'm always tempted to write "because i sit on my ass all day twiddling my thumbs" or "i just like spending time in the rooms for hours at a time talking to the patients and not doing my work." what are we supposed to say? i mean, i have perfectly good reasons why i stay late. like, the patients won't stop calling me every 5 minutes, or all my patients IVs went bad and i had to restart all of them. i'm sorry the hospital is so cheap it doesn't want to pay us more than we have to. and i just heard that it's going to stop giving pay raises. then what incentive do we have to even stay in our jobs? screw them. why don't they cut the CEOs' salaries? they don't need to be making that much. we're here suffering and they're there watching us suffer. it's pretty ridiculous. but i guess that's how every organization works. it's really annoying. they don't listen to us. they just nod their heads and say "ok, we're working on it." bullshit. no you're not. i just don't really know what i'm going to do next. i haven't found the next job i want to do yet. it's hard getting into that critical care position i'm looking for. plus i don't want to work from 7pm-7am. screw that. you're like a vampire or something. so yeah, that's basically work stuff for ya.

well that's all the update i can think of right now. oh yeah, i have a new favorite song to add to my ever growing list. it's "make you feel my love" by adele. i immediately loved it on first listen.

well anyway, children, that's my blogging for now. i gotta find more interesting stuff to write about.

this is a suggestion: http://www.amazon.com/USAopoly-The-Beatles-Monopoly-Game/dp/B0019CWLNC

in other news, i just got my california nursing license. but the idiots misspelled my middle name. and they have the nerve to tell me that it looked like an "i" on the application instead of an "e." and i said, "well i have a copy of it right here and it's an 'e.'" so they're going to go back to the file and see "if it was my fault or their fault" that it's spelled wrong. idiots. but on the plus side, i can't believe that i got it so fast. damn. now the big decision is how fast and how badly i want to move there. i'm a little thrown off guard by the whole thing. we'll see how it goes.

what else? oh yeah, i get to hang out with the nursing girls. definitely people i haven't seen in like 2 years. i'm excited. i'll be facebooking some pictures hopefully.

so a 19-year-old just offered to buy me a drink. yeah. i can't do it. i just can't do it! nice guy, yes, but 19! ah!

anyway, i'll just drink alone like a true alcoholic.

yeah, so would you make one of your co-workers, who has only been at her current job for two years, the person in charge? especially when you've got 2 co-workers who've been in their current positions longer than previous said co-worker has been alive? i don't think so. you would obviously make the more experienced worker the one in charge. and yet they voted me the person to be in charge. i don't think so. i do not want to worsen the 8-hour headache i already get that's only worth an extra $1 an hour. i mean, i probably could do it but i already work too hard. so i succeeded in being the person not in charge. which was good, since i already had to chart on 8 patients. yes, i took care of a total of 8 patients in a 12-hour period. yes, just keep throwing them at me. it's no wonder why i start to get more irritated than usual. yesterday, i was about to start yelling at this patient and his fiancée, thinking they know better than we do. i mean, is it really necessary to come to the desk every 15 minutes asking when the doctor is coming? and we telling them the same answer every time, "he's coming. just wait." i have no control over when the doctors come to the unit. and when you call them and ask if they're coming, they get annoyed.

anywho, bottom line: i will not be charge.

it's 2am on a night before i don't have to work. i guess i should blog.

so here are the exciting details of reunion.

thursday: i got there at 11:30am. not to my surprise, no one i knew was there yet. i checked into my room (i was pleasantly surprised to get a single) and then had a good old subway lunch. i'm so used to people studying at lafun, not older people wearing tons of notre dame gear with cameras and name tags around their necks. i then made my way to the bookstore. we were blessed with sunny days over the weekend, so i didn't mind the walk as much as i used to. i spent way too much money on clothing as usual, but i couldn't resist the green ND scrubs! and then i spent a good 2 hours there waiting for people. t and brian got there around 3:15ish. after more spent money, we made our way back to the dorm and found amy and jen e walking outside. we stopped by the welcome reception, which wasn't that exciting, just more free finger food. t, brian and i picked jen f from the airport and had dinner, the 6 of us, at barnabys. afterwards, we met jess, alex, v, and jim and i'm pretty sure i'm forgetting people, at the refreshment tent. ah yes, the refreshment tent. gotta love lots of free alcohol. after a couple of hours we found nancy wandering around god quad and then went to corby's. i randomly ran into rudy, former siegfried assistant rector. he recognized me first. so that was random. and then while v and i were trying to get drinks, this middle aged guy sitting at the bar started talking to us. immediately i gave my "omg" look to v. he saw we were having trouble getting the bartender's attention so he got it for us. then he bought our drinks. and then we ran away, cuz i get uncomfortable in those situations. why is it always older people?? on our way out, poor nance tripped and fell, leaving some lovely bruises. and then we made our way home.

friday: we didn't really do a whole lot. we had brunch and walked around campus for a bit. then it was the class of '03 dinner. well it was sort of a dinner, there were more finger foods and to our dismay, a cash bar. what?? we had our class elections and we ended up electing the same people with the addition of kevin as our reunion coordinator (go kev!) and crystal as the website manager person. i was hoping for new blood and new ideas on our board but no go on that. oh well. we did see more people we knew there. and finally met jacob's fiancee. after that, onward to the refreshment tent. jen f had left for a while and came back to inform us that t and brian had left for denver. this was about 9:30pm or so? yeah. nancy, jacob and i had one of those really long late night talks. we closed the beer tent. we ended up back at alumni in the lounge for a bit. after that, i was getting ready for bed when i heard someone yelling nance's and jen's names really loud. so i came out of the room and saw a very intoxicated nikki on the floor of nance's room. and josh her bf was with her. i really admired josh for putting up with all that haha. then i spent some quality time with nancy that included trying to kill a spider and failing miserably. it ended up crawling out the door. i finally went to bed but before i did i checked the clock. it was definitely 5am.

saturday: nance and i tried to make the class picture but we missed it. then we had the all-class picnic. gotta love grilled food to excess. nance and i went to cat's really interesting seminar on stem cell research. and then i started questiong myself: what have i done in the last 5 years? nothing! at least, nothing compared to what i was listening to. but no, i feel like i haven't done anything in the last 5 years. then it was good old basilica mass. the evening was the all-class banquet. there was a gentleman there who was 100 years old and was from the class of 1930. so awesome! amy's steak appeared to still be bleeding and then when they switched it, it was the complete opposite: it was actually cooked. my steak seemed to get more raw as the minutes rolled by. we also noted the very large pieces of chocolate cake. more wine and more double-fisting with class. i kinda wished there was music, instead of just the sit down and listening to speeches. i kinda feel like it was short. but i guess that meant more time at the refreshment tent. i played flip cup for like the second time ever in my life. i was trying to resist, but hey, they talked me into it.

sunday: brunch at sdh. and then goodbye time.

it was a great weekend, and it was short. they should make reunion a whole week. if you only see people every 5 years you have to make the most of it. i missed the old times, i missed the drunken fun times. i don't know about you, but i feel old. i really do. and being there with everyone made me feel like i was still in college and having as much fun as i did back then. i wonder what it will be like when we're back for the 10-year reunion. are we still going to play cups? (i think we should.) i wish it was easier to get people together. sometimes i even wish life and reality weren't there to keep us from each other. we all have to go back to our homes, back to our jobs. i can't just walk the 5 or 10 minutes to your dorm just to say hi. i don't see you pass by on the sidewalk every day. we can't sit at the same table to have dinner. i can't pull all-nighters with you at reckers. i miss staking out booths at lafun.

most of all, i miss you. and i love you.

i can't believe i was at my 5-year college reunion. it was a great time filled with food, fun, and mostly the refreshment tent. clearly that was where my $100 went. unlimited wine and beer.

pictures are up on facebook if you're wondering. when i have more time and it's not 11:30pm on a night before i have to work, i'll try and fill you in on the details of the weekend.

good night and sweet dreams!

p.s. hhmm, i should start putting up old pics from college. i have a whole album full.

i really shouldn't let these stories stay in my head for so long.

i had to renew my CPR certification, so a couple weeks ago i took a class. the teacher was telling us these stories, and you have to hear these particular ones.

have you ever thought about getting body piercings? yeah well don't ever do it. there was a situation where this young guy had OD'd on whatever drugs, so he was in cardiac arrest. he was lying on the table and when the staff ripped his shirt open, they found he was lined with tons of body piercings, like in rows going down his torso. but they had to revive him. so they stuck the defibrillator pads on his chest, and unfortunately the pads had to stick over some of the piercings. they pressed shock and can you guess what happened? the defibrillator went on fire and so did the guy. now our teacher never went into whether the guy eventually survived or whatever, but good lord. makes you think twice about getting those nipple rings you've been itching to get.

the other story, which was amusing but really just a sad commentary on america goes like this. our instructor and a friend were able to go to an oprah taping. while sitting in their seats and waiting for the show to start, there was a couple sitting behind them who just wouldn't stop talking and arguing. after some time, the man just stops talking and goes down. the instructor immediately calls 911 and starts doing CPR. eventually the ambulance came and was able to take him to the hospital, so he was stable. a couple of months later, the instructor got a letter in the mail. she was being sued, or cited or whatever the proper term is. and it was not because she had hurt the man in the process, like accidentally break a rib or something. it was because she had ripped the man's shirt, and it was a custom-made shirt so it was expensive. the family wanted her to pay for the damn shirt. i mean, come on! she saves his life and he thanks her by sending her legal papers. what the hell??

so yeah if you go down, and i see you going down, don't expect me to touch you. cuz you're just going to sue me after it all happens. god forbid there are good samaritans who just want to help and have good intentions. so those were pretty crazy stories.

what else is in my news? well i have to go back to 8 hour shifts for a month. we're losing a couple of night shift nurses so there won't be enough to pair up with the 3 of us in the morning. so who gets the shaft? of course i do. cuz i guess i'm the least resistant to the change. i bet the other 2 12-hour people were like "kiss my ass" to the manager. well not literally, but you know what i mean. so i have to wait until the new hire is done with her orientation and it will be back to normal. cuz i'm really enjoying this whole "only work 3 days a week" thing. oh yeah did you know elaine is quitting? she doesn't even have another job lined up. she just wants to get out of there and do it fast. she's going to take a break for a while. i really think she's rethinking her career choice, cuz i'm pretty sure nursing isn't what she thought it would be. it's a lot of work. and no one appreciates us. but i won't go into my nursing rant again. so that's what's going on there.

today i went to my very first Pri-Med conference which is this big medical education convention. the best thing about it is the swag. like, lots of it. there are enough pens, bags, and post-its to make your head spin. but if you actually let the reps talk to you, you get to take home the good swag. my mom signed up for a website and they gave her an mp3 player. you can also get stuff with your name engraved on it. there's even free samples of advil they're giving away haha. i wish they'd give samples of the good drugs... but anyway, there are 2 more days of this free stuff. i am learning stuff though! did you know there's a new birth control pill that completely stops your period? i don't know how i feel about that. but in case you're curious you can read about it: lybrel.

now that i'm thinking about it, i gotta keep telling you all, don't get hooked on pain killers. just don't. you're going to become a whiny bitch and if i ever have to have you as a patient, i will not take your bullshit. you will ask me to call the doctor, and it will take me 3-4 hours until i actually do it. you have no idea what we nurses tell each other about you patients when we're changing shifts. so don't become a druggie. i will stop liking you.

well children, that's it right now. i should bring my camera tomorrow.

i've come to the conclusion that i don't have friends. i've also come to the conclusion that i can be overdramatic, too, so just bear with me.

here i am, in front of the computer on st patty's night, a night when you're supposed to be out having shameful fun with your friends. and i'm here drinking alone, like a true alcoholic. and i'm slightly annoyed that my alcohol stash is slowing going dry. looks like i'll have to stock up again pretty soon.

more work stuff. i love how people think they know more than you do. do you really think you can eat food when you're literally 1 hour out of surgery? i don't think so, brother. i had this guy who's pissed that i'm not letting him eat. i mean, the guy made it sound like he wanted solid food, and he didn't believe that the doctor ordered liquids, even tho i was clearly reading the chart in front of his face. this was the conversation (also kari the nurse's aide was in the room and the charge nurse was in the room with the patient in the next bed and she could hear us loud and clear):

guy: when can i eat?
me: you can have ice and liquids right now.
guy: when i had surgery last time i ate right away.
kari: was it the same doctor?
guy: no it wasn't here.
kari: that's why. who's the doctor?
me: dr ____.
kari: ha those doctors don't play around with that. (at this point we were kinda looking at each other trying to stifle our chuckling and shaking our heads. we're all getting annoyed with each other.)
guy: can't you call the doctor?
me: if i call him he'll tell me the same thing i'm telling you.
guy: you didn't even check my chart. i'm going to call the doctor. (kari was about to hand him the phone.)
me: you can do it if you want to. i'm telling you if i give you food you're probably going to be nauseous and then it's my fault.
guy: but i haven't eaten in like 24 hours. i'm nauseous because i haven't eaten.
kari: no you're going to be nauseous because the anesthesia is still in your system and your bowels need to wake up before we feed you.
me: i'm telling you if i give you food it's going to be my fault if you get sick.

then this next part of the conversation, after we stepped out of the room and then came back:

guy: well can i have the room number and the phone here? and show me the tv controls.
kari: ok give me one minute and i'll write it down.
guy: and can i have some food?
me: you can have liquids only.
guy: did you even call the doctor?
me: i'm telling you he's going to tell me exactly what i'm telling you now.
guy: you know you all are being very rude. you didn't even tell me my room number.
kari: i told you i would write it down and sometimes i forget things but you have to be patient with us. if you're having a problem i can have you speak to my charge nurse. (she was still in the room. and we're all starting to raise our voices.) i don't want you to have a bad experience during your stay here.
guy: and you made me move onto the bed by myself. you didn't even offer to help me. (so not true because there were 4 of us trying to move him but he declined and he moved himself.)
me: um, we did offer to help you but you decided to move yourself.
guy: i'm sorry if i'm coming off rude but i'm trying to know what's going on.

part 3:

guy: well can i at least have jello or broth?
me: yes, didn't i just tell you you can have clear liquids?
guy: well ok then. i wasn't asking for a sandwich earlier.
me: well you made it sound like you were looking for solid food.
guy: no i wasn't. i just want broth.
me: ok well you have to wait for it because we have to order it and we don't keep it stocked on the floor. you know i could give you some medicine for the nausea.
guy: no i just need to eat something.
me: well you can have solid food when i hear your bowels moving and you start passing gas. i'm trying to explain it to you.

at this point i left again. he got his liquid tray and he ate some of it. then i went back to the room.

me: so how did you take the tray?
guy: i took the jello fine. when i took the broth it did make me nauseous. you were right.
me: well, ok then. (i totally wanted to say "i told you so" but then i just sorta smirked.)
guy: i admit when i'm wrong and i apologize.
kari (she came in at this point): are you done with the tray?
me: he said the broth made him nauseated. (kari also wanted to say "i told you so" but she also kinda smirked.)
guy: i told you i admit it when i'm wrong. (we just shook our heads to ourselves.)

ok, first of all, don't be thinking you're supposed to tell me how to do my job. i'd like to think i know how to do things. and then don't yell at me and then apologize, and then yell at me some more. i'm technically not the one running the show here, but i gotta make sure it's running the right way. seriously, we're here to help you. i just don't understand people, especially when they don't get it. am i speaking english? is my explanation unclear? don't they tell you this stuff before the surgery?

so yeah that's my complaint story of the day. why can't everyone be like those patients who don't need anything, so they don't call you for anything ever? i'd get out on time every day.

also, i need to post a few things from my old blog so i don't lose them. there will be a lot of back dating here. should be fun.

so i was supposed to write this like a month ago but i just never got around to doing it. so of course 12:45 in the morning on a tuesday is the perfect time to dish it out.

that's it. i'm moving. no more snow. superbowl sunday i'm driving home from work and it's snowing like an inch a minute. so i get stopped in front of the train tracks cuz there's a train crossing. it was going well until my car decided not to move. like at all. so i called my parents and we spent an hour digging the car out from the side of the road. it took like 5 nice people who stopped to help to push the damn thing out of its little spot. there was a period of like 5 seconds when the car got stuck on the train tracks, which was when i think everything went into slow motion. luckily same 5 people pushed the car and i was merrily along my way home. i've had just about enough of this snow. it was fine for like a day and now there's just too much of it. i'm sick of being cold and i'm sick of having this annoying runny nose. so basically that's it. i'm frickin moving. maybe i'll do it next year. or something. i don't know. i'm going to miss my house, i know, but this snow is killing me. and we're supposed to get more this week. it won't end!!

i've been doing the 12 hour thing for a month now and it's been ok. i mean, i've had my share of leaving work at 10:45pm instead of 7:15pm like i'm supposed to but i knew it was coming. on the plus side, i'm home 4 days a week so it's ok. i feel like i should be doing something else with my time. but i just don't want to. i'm still trying to nail down that critical care job that will get me into grad school. you know i was doing a little research and i hate the fact that every school wants you to take the GRE. isn't it enough that i have 2 bachelor's degrees? i found 1 school in cali that doesn't require it. it's in pasadena. maybe i should move there. you all can come visit.

seriously, i've had enough of this running around. i can feel my back slowly and steadily giving out. which isn't good since i'm still in my mid-20's. good lord. and here i am again up late. ha i overheard 1 of the tele nurses saying "this is why i drink." amen to that, sister.

i went to a wedding on saturday, it was a member of the extended family. the ceremony was pretty simple. the bride made her wedding dress. the color theme was brown, i think it was an interesting choice. the reception was in a cool space. apparently the sara lee building in downers grove lets you rent the space out. and it's a good one. it was circular with all surrounding windows overlooking a man-made lake. it was nice. and all the typical wedding stuff. i've decided, if i ever get married (i emphasize the if), i'm banning the tapping glass thing, it's just annoying. i'm also banning line dancing that was clearly made up by filipinos. none of that please. it's just tacky. i don't mind a couple of the normal ones but yeah, no "red hot dancer" please.

i had on this blue dress that i got for like 75% off. i've learned this about myself: i'm a sucker for a cute dress. it doesn't matter if i need it, or if i'll use it, it's just that if i spot a cute dress that fits, i must have it. i have boxes of stuff i've worn a couple times and a few in the closet that have never been worn. and that's just sad. and yet i always have trouble deciding what to wear to these things i have to go to. well i've got a couple things lined up this year so we'll see what decide then.

the guy who made my cotillion dress passed away recently. and he made my mom's 25th anniversary dress. i remember he once told me he would be set to make my wedding dress. i guess that's not happening anymore. that's too bad tho, he had a lot of good stuff.

well that's it right now. basically random stuff that's been sitting in my head. oh well. that's how my mind works i guess.